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HAVE YOUR SAY
Nurses stop using 'dearie'

HAVE YOUR SAY

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Nurses told to stop using 'dearie' and 'love'

Nurses are being told not to call older patients "dearie" or "love" as they are deemed as offensive under new guidelines from the Nursing and Midwifery Council (NMC).

Nurses have been told to use patients' preferred names and should speak "courteously and respectfully" to ensure dignity in care according to the NMC recommendations.

The guidelines, which are constructed around the views of older people, say poor communication can have serious consequences and can damage the relationship between a nurse and an older person. But terms of endearment can be used in some areas if they are part of everyday speech - it may appear unusual if they are omitted, the draft guidance says.

The Conservatives have branded the new guidance as "ridiculous". Shadow health minister Anne Milton said using terms of endearment do not conflict with patients being treated with dignity and respect. "I think most people will see guidance such as this as the world having gone mad," she says.

The Guidelines have been backed by The Royal College of Nursing.

Dr Peter Carter, chief executive and general secretary of the Royal College of Nursing, told NHS 247: "For a long time we've been saying that nurses should ask patients how they would like to be addressed. Addressing patients properly is one small step that staff can and have taken to improve care."

NMC Council members will review the Guidance for the Care of Older People next week, Nursing Standard magazine reveals. It is hoped the new guidance will challenge poor standards of care and judge staff performance. They cover issues including respecting privacy and providing fundamental care like adequate fluids assistance with eating and personal hygiene when required.

HAVE YOUR SAY

What do you think about the NMC guidelines asking nurses to stop using the terms 'love' and 'dearie' when caring for older patients? Do you think that these terms are patronising or offensive? Do you think changing the way elderly patients are addressed will help ensure dignity in care? Or do you think such guidelines are unnecessary?


NHS 247 gives you the opportunity to comment on the survey findings.



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Comments (128)

i wonder what else they are going to pick up on? In derbyshire patients get called 'duck' and 'ducky' should that not be stopped too? my patients call me love and dearie amongst other names which i dont find offensive. these guidelines are unnecessary and after 24 years of nursing do they not think we have the life skills to call our patients what we deem best? do they think we set out to be patronising and offensive? we judge each patient on what they like to be called.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

i think nurses should beable to say dearie and love, i dont see how it could affend people. I think it is nice to say them to people, i use them alot.

Jade, Monday, January 5, 2009

Judging by the mixed responses from professions, it is clearly a case of personal preference as to what we all like to be called. Surely if we go about using these terms, then we will at some time offend someone. I am often shocked to hear these terms used by professionals to patients they have just met. Would it not be better if we all started at the same point and retained a professional approach?

Monday, January 5, 2009

Just call me 'Sir' when I'm you patient, please. William

Monday, January 5, 2009

I came to the UK in 1969 to commence my nurse training in Shrewsbury, Shropshire and one of the first rules was to refrain from calling old people "Dear, Love, Sunshine and Darling", to maintain their dignity and our respect to them, as they are some one's mother, father or grandparents or teacher and should be addressed no other than by their surnames, for example Ms Jones, Mrs Green and Mr Major. Having worked for nearly 40 years, I refer to all my clients as I was instructed so many years ago. I strongly believe we should have respect for our elders, unless however one is asked to be called by their given name. It will be very interesting to see whether care is improved when patients are called by their title followed by their surname

Oma Ramroop, Monday, January 5, 2009

I always thought that those terms were intimidating and overused sometimes. I am in total support of them being banned. Duckie should also be banned.

Monday, January 5, 2009

These guidelines are going to prove a big problem in Liverpool where you call anyone nice whatever age `Luv'. Dearie is not really an expression used in this area of the country. These guidelines have the right spirit but have not been thought through properly. The actual spoken word is less relevant than the manner in which it is conveyed e.g. in a spirit of warmth and affection or as a derisory term. Maybe NMC needs to read up a bit on the psychology of interpersonal communication before they issue such guidelines or many kindly Nurses across the UK will be carpeted for thier regional language and caring attitude. Not clever NMC.

Paul, Saturday, January 3, 2009

I think these guidelines should be absolutely adhered to. I feel it is patronising to call people love or Dearie.

C Duncan, Saturday, January 3, 2009

This is absolutely ridiculous. Yes, all patients/service users should be treated with dignity and respect and addressed in the appropriate manner with reference to what they would prefer to be called, and it is important to communicate considerately and effectively with patients, but to outlaw colloquialisms that in many areas are a means almost of phonetic puncuation and a part of that area (Newcastle: Pet, S Yorks/Derbys: Love/Ducks to name but a couple).

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

I think using names like this is fine provided you use them for everyone. If they are just used on the elderly then yes that could be deemed as patronising

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

My feeling is that each individual patient needs to be treated with the manner appropriate to them. Many elderly are seen by their age and not as a person and I have experience of friends and family being dealt with as an 'old person' and not given the respect or acknowledgement of their mental ability. All Staff need to be made aware of how to know what term of address is required - ask the patient (or their family) how they wish to be known.

Alison Thompson, Wednesday, December 31, 2008

What complete rubbish!! Patronising & offending people has a lot more to do with attitude than by which title is used. I know patients would rather have the respect of someone asking it they can "come in" and waiting for the answer before entering closed curtains, especially when on a commode. Or the dignity of someone making sure their genitals are covered when a surgeon looks at their abdominal wound. Or the care of someone holding their hand when they are having unpleasant procedures performed Of course everyone should make the effort to introduce themselves to the patients and establish a preferred name for both parties to use. But many wards today have more patients & less staff, short cuts are made everywhere. The person who clerked in the patient may have little more to do with them for ages afterwards, if at all. They may been moved several times in order to find them a bed and stopping them "breaching". Depending on the circumstances of their illnesses & mental states, I have had patients use terms of endearment to me like "sweetheart, lovey, poppet, darling" as well as terms of abuse like "cow, b**ch, b***ard". I understand that they see many people during their stay and will often address us in these ways, sometimes using "nurse" first but not always. They do not wish to offend us by not using our title & name, they just want to get our attention and it is the same with us. I don't take offence at the nasty names as I know there is usually a medical reason behind it, nor do I take offense at the endearments. The patients I have nursed over the years haven't taken offense at having been called endearing names but use Miss when it should be Mrs or verse versa & stand well back. If in doubt"sir" or madam", are alternatives I have found work for formal situations but they are not very comforting when a softer approach is needed. Most male nurses are still called "Doctor" by the older generation as that was their norm. Some patients are so confused that it is impossible to tell them any different and trying to, only makes things worst. We all try to treat patients with respect & as indivduals but let the NMC understand we are only human too!

Allison Hyson, Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I think this is the correct thing to do - we need to show respect to our elderly patients, it will be us one day

Julie Walker, Monday, December 29, 2008

I work in complaints and get quite a lot from patients who hate to be referred to as 'dearie, duckie, love' etc. I quite agree with them, I too find it offensive and am pleased the NMC have made these recommendations.

Monday, December 29, 2008

I think all nursing staff should ask patients how they would like to be addressed. I am sure no one would ask to be called 'love' or 'dearie'. When I trained in the 1980's we always addressed our patients as Mr/Mrs/Miss. The only exception was when a person was an inpatient for a long time they would usually say call me by my first name. I think there should be guidelines as I feel standards have dropped from a personal hospital experience I had recently

Judy Wright, Monday, December 29, 2008

I have always used the term "love" on occassions ..when communicating with people it is part of my regional dialect ,Iam from yorkshire and Ido not feel I use the term in a patronising tone or I am being offensive Ihave supported people for 28 years and this has never been an issue ,i treat peple with respect and ask how they would like to be addressed

Sunday, December 28, 2008

I agree with the sentiment, but can i also be asked how i would like to be addressed please by staff patients and carers. Im a long in the tooth SRN and have never liked having to give all and sundry my first name but havent had much option. Im a Senior Sister, but its all considered "old hat" now, reminiscent of the lack of respect in everything these days. I particularly dislike the term "nursey, love, dearie, etc" but its part of our loss of the "stiff upper lip" isnt it? We now have to be all "touchy,feeley "about everything. Patients asked for this didnt they??

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Are the patients being asked to stop calling nursing staff love and dearie also? It depends on the way they are said as to wether they are patronising or not if just a general form of speech no it is not such guidelines are unnecessary we should be aware of how to address people

julie williamson, Sunday, December 28, 2008

I have checked with all my patients as I find myself using the term 'Love' quite a lot, but to all patients not just the over 60's. 'Love' seems to be used widely by north western people, just as 'hen' to scotland or 'my duck' to the cotswalds, 'pet' my north east etc and no one has found it offensive, in fact they use it themselves and have expressed that it is political correctness gone too far,they have expressed that it feels friendly rather than offensive. I find it is the way it is said rather than wat is said. However, on rare occassion there are people who prefer to keep professionalism and maintain rank of nurse rather than their name and also use Mr. or Mrs rather than their first name or name known as. Nurses should ask before automatically using first names, or colloquisms.

Ann Finnamore, Friday, December 26, 2008

Absolutely hysterical. Having moved around this fair country a fair amount the regional use of terms of endearment is amazing. This is a clear case of those than can DO and those that CAN'T either teach or in this case pontificate. I have seen some dreadful nurses (personal opinion) very properly and formally address very scared and confused patients no care or humanity to those who are often on the start of their journey to the grave. The aim MUST be to tailor care to the needs of the PATIENT not the whims of some MINDLESS bureaucrat if there is any sense in this world

David Palmer (Paramedic), Wednesday, December 24, 2008

I think elderly patients (%99 of them anyway ! ) love the term as a form of boading between the nurse and the patient a it can also alleviate some uncertainties about being in strange surroundings and where do the NMC get grounding for their misacusation of the terms being offensive ? they might aswell say "dont talk to them at all" !!!!!!

Lesley Burton, Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I personally have never addressed a n elderly person with "dearie" or "love" as I feel it is disrespectful and patronising. There is nothing wrong with addressing them with Mr, Mrs or Mz. These guidelines are absolutely essential

GBK Sheriffdeen, Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I do agree with this as I have been in several situations when not in uniform I have been referred to as "love" or "darling" and have found it very unprofessional, and I am only 50! I think that it will act as a reminder that although they are now elderly they have led full and productive lives and been through many more hardships than we can now dream of. MAny elderly people have very active minds although their bodies may belie that fact

lorraine black, Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I am 58 born and bred in yorkshire and consider it part of my regional identity/ heritage to use the phases and endearments of my peers. I have always used the term 'love', when interacting with clients, the public in general and family. Only people isolated from the real feelings of people in the area could consider such a thing, if I deal with any client I deal with them with compassion and consideration, this is conveyed by my actions more than my words, my words will be chosen to suit the situation. Consider codes of practice that outlaw general patients being referred to as ' the nil-by mouth in bed 4' and other more insulting/inconsiderate phrases, not my use of my local language.

alan holmes, Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I would be highly offended if someone called me dearie or love. There seems to be a move towards calling patients by their first names without permission being asked and I think patients may not say that this makes them uncomfortable because they fear they may offend. Perhaps we should ask ourselves why we do this, is it because we cannot remember their names, are we patronising patients or is it done with affection? Patients know which it is. I think you can't go wrong if you think about how you would like someone you care about to be addressed.

Julia Thomas, Tuesday, December 23, 2008

as an elderly nurse 67 yeatrs do not tend to find terms offensive depends who says them and in what context could be a normal form of speech in north

joan.marsden, Tuesday, December 23, 2008

it ain,t what you say it,s the way that you say it.There can be nothing more disrespectful and patronising to call someone sir or mr or mrs in a distant manner.Terms of affection like love have to be appropriate but can be uplifting to patients and I do think the political correctness brigade have gone overboard on this one.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Ithink it depends on the patient and area in which you work. yes on paper 'dearie' and 'love', may seem offensive however working in liverpool, were every one is called 'love' and it is a term of endearment then it may not be offensive. I know of one gentleman nurse who calls his patient 'love' and 'duckie' and the older ones love him for it and miss him dreadfully on his days off, so is he offensive? his patients on his older ( elderly wards) do not think so and think he is the best nurse in the world to them, however he checks on admission what they would like to be called and most of them do not ask for titles at all. i think its important to remember that people (patients and nurses) are human and this human element is sometimes needed to stop fear anxiety and loneliness. i would rather have this nurse the way he is making his patients happy than to ban him and respect is what is important treat every one with dignity and respect and do not get bogged down with banning terms. as they may actually be benefical to the patient and after all is that what not waht we are hear for to nurse?

laura (liverpool), Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I think that there are more important issues to be tackled in the NHS than this ridiculous issue!!!!

Donna Robinson, Tuesday, December 23, 2008

We are intelligent people who would know when to use terms of endearment appropriately. Stop wasting your time and our money, and think of ways to boast our morals and staffing levels so that we can continue doing what we love CARING.

Jacqueline McCollin, Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I think it is ridiculous,i do use this terminology.

julie wright, Monday, December 22, 2008

Patients desreve respect. It is right and proper for ALL health care professionals to use "Mr, Mrs, Miss, etc". Many elderly patients already feel loss of independance. A patronising attitude just makes it worse. We should ALL respect each other. Politeness does nobody any harm.

Dr. N. C. Williams, Monday, December 22, 2008

I would like to think all nurses have the skills to communicate with their patients or relatives so as to know the best way to interact with their patients. Not to be rude, but how many managers, think tanks or focus groups did it take so a 'guideline' can dictate what a nurse should or should not say to a patient, which they most likely know what s/he likes to be called better than the almighty NMC. Did it not occur to them that language was different even one generation ago. Words that nobody would think twice about in the 50's and 60's are today deemed offensive and disrespectfull - give me a break!!! NMC stop making stupid guidlines and start thinking about how to help increase staffing levels.

RMN, Dementia ward., Monday, December 22, 2008

Some "pet " names can be deemed as patronising, but wouldn't it be a good idea to listen to how the pateint adresses the staff, then mix similar endearments in with using their name. A wake up call should use a name, but an offer of a cup of tea should be more personal to how the patient speaks or reacts to endearments. Someone might like "Sweetheart", but be offended at "luv", depending on how they talk themselves. It's worth opening up and listening to people in general, not restricting their interaction to set protocols.

Glenys, Monday, December 22, 2008

I totally agree as I believe that it is offensive patronising and unprofessional.

elizabeth buscombe, Monday, December 22, 2008

I agreee with the NMC/RCN. It is disrespectful and unprofessional to address patients in this manner. It takes no time to ask a patient how they would like to be addressed.

M.Jackson., Monday, December 22, 2008

I always address patients formally eg Mrs archer , unless they direct me otherwise. i think it is inaapropiate to address patients as "love or Dearie"

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Anything that eradicates ageism and passivity in healthcare has to be welcomed. However the guidelines should not be used punitively, but used as a development process to raise awareness abotu ageism in healthcare.

John Sims, Sunday, December 21, 2008

I think the term 'dearie' can be at times patronising, however the term 'love' does not have the same edge, in fact many older people use this term commonly, to me it just enhances a calm atmosphere and a feeling of security where people care. Some other commonly used phrases eg, my dear, lovie, poppett, sweetie, should not be used. I most certainly would never take offense if a nurse said love to me.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

It's all about communication, improved outcomes and respect isn't it! In your documentation you should find out what your patient would like to be called. shouldn't you? Put yourself in the place of the patient, and think how would you like to be addressed? I personally would hate to be called by any of those names, wouldn't you? Just make sure that you type the outcome of your visit in the electronic record, won't you :)

Lawrence Perry, Friday, December 19, 2008

We should be speaking courteously and respectfully tp patients at all times, but I don't think these prescriptive guidelines are helpful. As several replies have pointed out, in some parts of the country, these phrases might be quite acceptable. Nurses who need guidelines to tell them how to address patients are probably in the wrong job, and are the least likely to follow guidelines anyway.

s. Thwaites, Friday, December 19, 2008

l think yet again its all political correctness gone mad, l think a nurse should always be respectful,polite,and maintain dignity if the patient does not find it offensive then l dont see any harm in trying to address them in a friendly way, what happened to trying to be nice.

sarah dube, Friday, December 19, 2008

I think the guidelines are unnecessary and insulting to nurses.

Isobel Gordon, Friday, December 19, 2008

I heartily agree. Older people in need of care have led productive, assertive lives prior to needing care and assistance. All people should be addressed by their preferred name unless a special relationship develops and it is appropriate. When I'm older I won't be happy with being called dearie at all. It can have a subtle effect that shifts the balance of power between the individuals.

Martin Lincoln, Friday, December 19, 2008

Utter, utter rubbish!! The only way dignity in care will improve, certainly for inpatients, will be to ensure appropriate skill mix, a ban on management 'capping' the use of bank/agency staff, and more effective use of clinical oincident reporting (i.e. staff actually hearing that an incident reported upon has been acted upon rather than just being a paper exercise!)

Friday, December 19, 2008

I think that is ridiculous. Surely the NMC should be targeting problems such as ensuring elderly patients are not being given adequate care, nutrition and being treated with dignity rather than worrying about nurses usung terms that are used in everyday life...especially by the elderly themselves!!!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Having worked with the older adult for many years,we all respect each other,often than not patients tend to tell you how to address them

janice uttley, Friday, December 19, 2008

Having worked with the older adult for many years,we all respect each other,often than not patients tend to tell you how to address them

janice uttley, Friday, December 19, 2008

This should also be for patients calling nurses and doctors love, darling, flower , mate etc. I work in an out-patient setting and these terms are often used by patients addressing medical staff

Friday, December 19, 2008

These may be used in a patronising fashion or as a term of endearment, it very much depends on the intonation, content and how the person is interacting with pateint. What is of much greater concern to me is how rude some nurses are when speaching to patients, who when challenged say that is how they speak in their own culture. This manner causes great offense to our patients and needs to be addrtessed, even if the PC people think that this is discrimatory to our ethnic nurses. it is not they need to understand the culture and curtesys of our country and the patents they care for.

Friday, December 19, 2008

I think it is not a good starting point, especially when meeting a patient for the first time. It is patronising and gives the impression that you can't be bothered to remember their name, and therefore devaluing the patient. I think it is a shame that such guidelines are necessary to be written, it should be understood in training as good professional manners to address patients in a respectful way.

Tracey Baker, Thursday, December 18, 2008

Yes I do think these terms are patronising and I feel are a symptom of a lazy approach to care.

B H Batchelor, Thursday, December 18, 2008

Utter nonsense! Has the NMC not got more important things to worry about? I can think of a few just in 5 mins;- recruitment and retention in nursing, hospital acquired infections, training, budgets for harrassed managers, poor staffing levels etc etc. In fact I've just asked a patient what she thinks and she laughed which considering she's on a ventilator is pretty indicative of her feelings!! This is just another pathetic exercise in undermining nurses and reducing already shakey morale.

Alice Sadra, Thursday, December 18, 2008

as someone who is getting on in years I do find these terms patronising, when people who are young enough to be my grand children call me Love or dear i do get offended. we should find out how people like to be addressed and abide by their wishes. that way respect and dignity is fulfilled. It is a pity that such guidelines needs to be given at all, but if it helps to improve some of the low standards of care that I have witnessed, then mopre power to them I say.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

I fully support the guidelines. We should respect ALL patients regardless of age. I have worked with older people for many years. At first meeting I always address them as MR or Mrs whoever, and will continue to do this unless they ask me otherwise. Generally people appreciate this mark of respect. It also allows for a professional relationship to be established. Very familiar terms can lead to 'blurring of relationship boundaries'.

Ursula Leonard, Thursday, December 18, 2008

What About Local dialects for example Cornwall where it is perfectly normal to call people "lovey" etc and nobody is offended?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I think all pateints should be addressed to by the pateints preferred name, which sometimes may differ from the pateint ID name. Nurses should ask patients or the relatives/friends where appropriate for this info. I welcome the omition of the tems Love and Dearie when addressing patients.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

As a nurse of 38 years I think these guidelines are totally unnecessary, as a professional I would not use such terms as they may be deemed as patronising.

christine roberts, Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I think calling pt's dear or love or anything else is dis repectful unless the pt askes you to call them something other than their full name.

Kathleen doolan, Tuesday, December 16, 2008

What a lot of old drivel, having asked lots of patients what they think, the consencus is they would prefer more nurses at ground level & less people wasting time & money squabbling about trivialities

E M Kelly-Hines, Tuesday, December 16, 2008

These guidelines are totally unnecessary! Every nurse knows how to respond to her patients appropriately. For pity's sake - stop making us look over our shoulders! What is more important? Being 'PC' or making someone feel better with an appropriate endearment at the right time? Leave us to do our job and some dignity in being able to decide for ourselves! In Liverpool, the use of 'love' is a tradition and is not usually seen as patronising . By the way, how much is this person paid at the NMC?

viv power BA(Hons RN), Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I really feel that there are much more important issues around nursing care to be addressed first! I do not consider them patronising or offensive, but i suppose it depends on your personal political leanings and/or the area you reside in. I feel that such guidelines are totally unecessary.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I may be traditional, but I have been taught to address the patient using their title and surname, until the patients request otherwise. I find that people will ask for their prefered name to be used when they feel they have developed a relationship with you, and not vice versa. However, in Sheffield "love" and "duck" are commonly used both by men and women of all ages, and is not considered to be offensive or patronsing. Guidelines are just that, gudelines.

Margaret Sherlock, Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Should we also ask the patients to stop calling us dearie and love or pet or sweetie and also our family friends and partners as they are being patronising and offensive. No of course not what a load of rubbish. Are the NMC short of things to do, im sure there are more important matters that need guidelines to do with quality of care that they can be sorting out!!

karen williams, Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Is it ok to say 'duck' which is a term of endearment in Derbyshire, especially Chesterfield. Mind you it may get mixed up with the saying 'what's up doc'

Monday, December 15, 2008

I always considered that these terms were locally used as `terms of endearment' and not used in an offensive manner. Endearments can be used when conveying empathy and I have never heard of any patient's complain about the use of these phrases. Nurses should always use their discretion and get to know their patient's and relatives who will use the phrases themselves that will indicate if it is acceptable form of communication. Often the phrases are local to areas and people do not realise that they use them.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Depending where you come from or live- these terms are colloquiolisms - like Duck, duckie,sweetie . There are far worse things such as public swearing to be addressed!!

Monday, December 15, 2008

I think all patients should be addressed by their preferred name.When I was a young nurse in the 80's we were not allowed to call the patients anything other than mr mrs or miss and find the other terms patronising.When someone refers st me as mrs williamson I feel that there is a level of respect .

l williamson, Monday, December 15, 2008

unnecessary guidelines which will so nothing to improve nursing care. standards depend on the nurse and her team leader not how she addresses people. whatever terms you use you will not please all patients as they come form such diverse backgrounds. i hope that nurses touch on this subject in their training to educate those you are not aware of patient s sensitivites but otherwise they should concentrate on more important issues.

susan streather, Monday, December 15, 2008

as a 51 yr old yorkshireman who has worked in the nursing profession for over thirty years,i really do think i have heard it all now!

david hindle, Monday, December 15, 2008

I do agree that patients should be asked how they would like to be addressed, but is is not just the elderly that get referred to by these terms, these are just words. Sometimes it can be very reassuring to have someone call you "love or honey etc" They are neither patronising or offensive when used by nurses, it would be completely different if they were used in a spiteful way. Then a patient would have a reason to feel offended. These guidelines are another example of the PC brigade being ridiculous. There are far more important things to worry about in the NHS at this time.

Monday, December 15, 2008

I think this is a point less exercise. Terms of endearment are endemic to specific demographic area's and should be left alone. We are a national of many different people who have many different terminologies throughout our land do we need to speak another language because another just because policy dictates.

Monday, December 15, 2008

I started my training in 1984. I remember being told all those years ago that such terms were paternalistic and disempowering. I fully agree with these guidelines but am surprised that such is necessary to maintain basic standards of communication.

julie green, Monday, December 15, 2008

I think it is the tone in voices that can be more offensive than the words ie impatience or being condescending. Elderly patients should be asked if they would like to be called by their first name or full title and this should be clearly documented. I think the NMC should have more to think about than this ie poor care. It is a shame that guidelines have to be produced for this subject and I certainly do not pay my increased subscriptions for this rubbish. It is surely up to ward sisters and managers to ensure that ALL patients in their care are treated by ALL Staff in a decent and caring manner.

Lesley Brown SRN, Sunday, December 14, 2008

The NMC should be spending their time addressing the real issues in nursing and healthcare. This is yet another example of nurses been bashed and belittled for doing a hard job in difficult environments. This on the back of the government telling us we don't smile enough! So now we are getting over familiar and offensive!! It is a joke, but not a funny one. Good communication is a cornerstone of effective nursing care, but this type of nonsense is plain offensive. The RCN support it, what a surprise. Who is left to defend nurses and fight our corner? When are we going to hear somthing positive about us? And they wonder why so many leave and why moral is so poor! (yet saying that, I don’t think they do, ivory tower comes to mind). In general, I am proud to serve with my colleagues, they are a great bunch. Please don’t let this drivel get you down! ;)

Andy, Saturday, December 13, 2008

i think there are more important issues like the fact that i (we) as nurses still are not paid enough (even though we are at the front line and the fact that there are still patients waiting in a/e for more than the recomended 4 hours....but no i will not call old people "love" and "dearie" as long as they dearie/ love and use my correct title as staff nurse (they should also stop swearing and being abusive to me (oh is that another issue!!)

Saturday, December 13, 2008

These terms are NOT patronising or offensive. This is just more oversensitive bullshit political correctness, dreamed up by pen-pushing do-gooders. It is totally unnecessary. We are NURSES! NOT restaurant waiters

Sean Finlayson, Saturday, December 13, 2008

Using such terms should be an individual choice, made by the nurse, based on the individual patient involved. I have asked many patients if they dislike such terms and I have yet to find a negative response.

Kurt, Saturday, December 13, 2008

I do believe that the "dearie" fees that we mandatorily pay to the NMC should be used in a more professional manner to improve both the standards and the standing of the Nursing profession. I am not in "love" with this latest edict. Stop patronising nurses and leave political correcting to those who mark politics and government examination papers. "Chuck " this one out "mate"

Joseph Rutherford, Saturday, December 13, 2008

i feel guielines unecessary, some elderly patients iniciate terms love etc in conversation, and it is up to the person liaising with the patient how they respond , some patients feel reassured and often comforted by this , this is often not considered.,

Friday, December 12, 2008

These terms can be patronising but they are also terms used regularly in some part of the country and considered 'normal'. As NMC is providing guidlines I would suggest they are just that and common sense should also prevail.

shirley fenwick, Friday, December 12, 2008

this is unnecessary, how you address patients depends on the nature of your relationship.I think we are taking things a bit too far.

janet tsiga, Friday, December 12, 2008

I'm a nurse with 27 years of experience under my belt and I'm passionate about the right of all people using and working within our services to be treated with dignity and respect. Though dearie isn't part of my repetoire, I do refer to people as 'love' sometimes and, as I work and live in Yorkshire, I am sometimes refererred to as 'love'. It's okay by me, and my interpersonal and communication skills allow me to check out with my colleagues and service users whether or not it's fine with them! Context and attitude are key here. One can use someone's name and still be patronising. I also feel that the NMC might be seen as patronising in it's appraoch to professionals and older people in this matter.

Friday, December 12, 2008

I don't agree with 'love' 'dearie' or any other term to any patient regardless of age. The patient should be referred to by their title unless advised otherwise. Guidelines shouldn't be necessary, but if it is the only way then so be it. I presume this is roled out to all allied professions related to medicine inc. HCAs. It surely is social etiquette to address someone initially by their title.

Friday, December 12, 2008

I can't believe someone has spent time writing these guidelines, I live in Yorkshire and have never thought the terms as being offensive. What is wrong with people as long as nurses show dignity and respect to people that is the main thing surely.

Friday, December 12, 2008

The NMC guidelines are appropriate re this issue as others in that they educate and reinforce reasonable best practiceto the public we serve. I understand that the terms can be considered to be patronising and/or offensive, once a relationshiphas been established with apatient a nurse can agree with the patient how they wish to be addressed but untill such times a professionalapproach should be maintained using the patients correct title and surname. The guidelines are obviously necessary as they are evidence based and sobased on in the main public opinion

Winifred Alice Suggett, Friday, December 12, 2008

All patients regardless of age, should be addressed by the term they prefer

Friday, December 12, 2008

I think the NMC should spend their time ensuring patients get their fundamental needs met such as bathing, supported to go to the toilet etc.

Friday, December 12, 2008

I don't call anyone dearie or love, not even my patients, I do often use first names but always introduce myself by my first name. However, patients have been known to call me love (which I don't mind if they're older but object to if they're young) and since moving to West Bromwich a month ago I have been called "cocker"!! Hmmm!

Lois, Friday, December 12, 2008

Another polictal correctness and nanny state guideline. I agree I have heard some nurses use it and it sounds patronising, but as a nurse of 30yrs experience I feel some patients like this term of endearment when used appropriately. I find some patients feel it is an empathic word if used sensibly. Ifind it irritating that I am being told not to use the word 'love' when i can make far more challenging decisions, than to know when using this word can be beneficial.

chris hudson, Friday, December 12, 2008

It depends on which part of the country you are using the term "love". In Yorkshire the term is widely accepted as being friendly not patronising and very often it is the elderly patients that use the term "love" when addressing/ summoning a nurse for attention.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Yes I do think this is right, as I find the terms love and dearie in particular, patronising. I feel that all patients should be treated with respect, and should be asked what they want to be called whether Mr/Mrs or their first name. I am Yorkshire born and bred, and although this is a common term, I am mortified if it is used towards me. - Perhaps the adage - treat people how you would like to be treated comes in here!

Diane Tyas, Friday, December 12, 2008

I think it depends in what context, although i do not like being refered to as love but don't take offense that others may do. It can be disrespectful, i was brought up to address my elders as mr or mrs at all times unless told otherwise.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Haven't the NMC got anything better to do! What's happened to common sense and professional judgement. I think the NMC and RCN are being patronising and offensive to nurses by introducing such guidance. Do they think that nurses are not capable of establishing a theraputic relationship with their patients? Establishing how a patient wishes to be addressed should be the first step in any nurse/patient interaction and that she be instilled into nurses from day 1 of their career. (As it was when I started out as a Student Nurse in 1984). The key is having respect for each other whether its patients or colleagues and terms such as love, duck, dear etc do not necessarily have to be excluded in a respectful relationship.

Rachel Thomas, Friday, December 12, 2008

Shame, if we need studies to show just how far political correctness has invaded professionalism this is a prime example. Perhaps we will soon be issued with a dictionary of "approved standard English" that excludes all regional terms of endearment and variations and all words that "may be "deemed as offensive" by some sectors of society. Just how many words will it contain? Oops just remembered "English" will of course be excluded as well!! Very thin publication I feel.

Friday, December 12, 2008

I have been nursing for 28yrs. We were always taught to first address patients by their title eg Mr / Mrs / Miss. The patients would in most cases say " oh please call me ........." In the case of nursing an unconcious pt the relatives would tell us their preferred name. After building up a relationship, a term of endearment was usually added, especially when trying to encourage them eg to eat / walk etc. But in my opinion it should be used AFTER their name NOT instead of. If "love " and "dearie" are used instead of their name ,it may come accross as the nurse not knowing their name. Which if not patronising is certainly offensive. However, we nurses still do love our patients, and to address them with a term of endearment is meant as a way of communicating how much we do care about them. Still if this survey reflects the patients feelings then it should be seriously considered

Lainey Charters, Friday, December 12, 2008

i think that the nhs nurses and even the elderly have alot more on there minds than if they are called dearie it is not a term of abuse or denigration but a sign of genuine affection and relationship with the patient.all thosepatients i have mentioned this to while working has said it is political correctness gone mad.nurses are sensitive enough to patients to recognise those who are bothered by term of endearment and not their correct name being used.this is ridiculous talk about fiddling while rome burns by the ukcc

mary carr, Friday, December 12, 2008

Many older people use these terms to adress their carers and surely if there has been good relationship developed between a nurse/patient communication will be a fundamental part of it. Therefore they will have established how they may comfortably address each other. Some people may find these terms offensive whatever their age so therefore such guidelines are not necessary but the promotion and facilitating of good communication skills are.

Karen Williams, Friday, December 12, 2008

What has happened to common sense and professional judgement? As nurses we should be trying to develop a theraputic relationship with our patients which should be based around establishing good communication channels. How difficult is it to find out how someone wishes to be addressed when we first interact with them? If the NMC and RCN thinks these guidelines will improve the quality of elderly care they are sadly mistaken.

Rachel Thomas, Friday, December 12, 2008

'When only caring for older patients' suggests an institutional ageism on the part of the NMC. Why should older patients be treated differently. As a yorkshireman and nurse, I will continue to treat all patients equally and will continue to use the term 'love'. These type of guidelines are not only unnecessary but they are detrimental to society, they stop allowing us to relate to people as people; professionalism does not require the absence of warmth and humanity.

Friday, December 12, 2008

I think nurses should know their patients well enough to know when to call them by an endearment and when not to. I think in certain circumstances they can be patronising. I think if you have the empathy to address them appropriately you will have the empathy to give them the correct care. I think such guidlines should be unnescerrary for any nurse because she should know how to treat people just by the nature of being a 'nurse'

jane Baker, Friday, December 12, 2008

I too would be unhappy to be referred to as love and dearie. Not only is it disrespectful, it is patronising and demeaning. Respect should be absolutely paramount between a patient and a nurse whatever the age. There is a lot to be said for returning to the old fasioned values of dignity and respect; maybe nurses would be better thought of.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Just more government interference, Nurses are proffesional people who have excellent communication skills unlike the governmentand talk to patients in ways that are comfortable for both parties. Leave the rules to those who will be using them and stick to your own job which you are doing very badly. It is noticable that there are very few edicts being made to the banking industry and what a mess they have made of that industry!

Shaun Murphy, Friday, December 12, 2008

How sad that we need to be told how to speak to people. Respect for others should be taught by parents, but sadly in many families it is not.

Marilyn, Friday, December 12, 2008

At times terms such as love and dearie are not appropriate however I do feel that guidelines are not needed or that it would help to ensure dignity in care. Many elderly patients well known to a team of nurses prefer these terms. Nurses can assess what is appropriate and what is not, we are professionals.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Yes, I completely agree, we should treat our elders with the respect they deserve. I am an older nurse and I find it unsettling when students or indeed qualified staff call me 'hun', sweetheart etc. We can all have light-hearted conversation, I'm sure when older patients/staff are asked what they preferred to be called they do not respond with a love/dearie response.

N. Holt, Friday, December 12, 2008

It is totally dependent on circumstances and previously established relationships. I find it just as offensive to hear older patients called by their first name without first asking permission. It is the statement "courteously and respectfully" which is important.

Wendy, Friday, December 12, 2008

These terms are not only used when dealing with the elderly, particularly the word "love" which has been used by northerners for as long as I can remember. (or should that be people from the north of England). As with any name or term it depends how it is said and in what context it is used. Are there not more important issues to deal with?

David Smith, Thursday, December 11, 2008

Surely the question should be that patients of any age get individualised care which is reflected in how they are addressed ? Asking someone how they prefer to be addressed should be part of the process of caring for patients. We would be better off fostering a feeling of gratitude and respect for older people throughout society, not just in nursing, so that elderly care is seen as the pinnacle of nursing.

chris burton, Thursday, December 11, 2008

I must admit I do not like the term love or dearie I would not like it. People like to be given a name whether it be formal as in MR/Mrs or there first name, they are a person with preferences. If we visit dentists, bank managers, Doctors, we are not given such names but names we are comfortable with.

Ann Rodgers Practice Nurse, Thursday, December 11, 2008

The NHS is in Turmoil, no money, hospital acquired infrections rife, staff morale low, Appointments / opertaions cancelled, shortage of beds, concerns over cleanliness and we have to have guidelines on whether we can or can't call elderly love or dearie - Give me a break no wonder we are in such a mess. By the way why is it only the elderly surely the way you address any Pt is of importance in maintaining good relationships